Stand Out In A Sea Of Your Under-Cut Friends | A rant


To be fair, I’ll acknowledge that fashion does fade in and out along the premise of history repeating itself. The gist of the style you are currently copying was worn by the forty-niners in, you guessed it, a year with ‘49’ within it. It was 1849 to be exact. That is cool and vintage so I can see why you want to relive it. And, since you guys do like vintage shit go the extra mile with bellbottoms.

The historic U.S. Navy used to wear them. Check it out:In the early 19th century, when a standardized uniform did not yet exist in the U.S Navy, some sailors adopted a style of wide trousers ending in bell-shaped cuffs.In 1813, one of the first recorded descriptions of sailors‘ uniforms, written by Commodore Stephen Decatur, noted that the men on the frigates United States and Macedonia were wearing “glazed canvas hats with stiff brims, decked with streamers of ribbon, blue jackets buttoned loosely over waistcoats, and blue trousers with bell bottoms.” – Wikipedia

Holy shit, right? Bellbottoms are not only cooler to look in but they are also patriotic. The bellbottoms were brought to the spotlight of fashion in the mid-1960s. It was a time when people were looking for peace through international conflict while the nation struggled to find itself. All those anti-war hippies copied some folks in the war-mongering, yet historic U.S. Navy. How ironic.


Those wide-bottomed jeans did have a good twenty-year run. Psyche yourself up to be the start of another two decades worth of gaping-legged-pant popularity. If you’re not convinced then let’s take a look at a few more reasons why this makes sense for you:

  • Lynyrd Skynyrd
  • Led Zeppelin
  • Jimi Hendrix
  • T. Rex
  • (Insert Obsolete Classic Rock Band Here That You Knew About Before Your Friend)
  • You already have flannel shirts
  • You already have beards
  • You already wear a moustache
  • You already have boots
  • You’re already (probably) in a band
  • Your friends definitely aren’t wearing them
  • Your fedora will pair just perfectly
  • Chances are your outfit (read costume) already gets laughed at

Lighten up! Did you catch that? A switch-to-a-lighter-color-jean joke? It wasn’t very funny. But, what is funny is the coffee shops filled with dudes who look like they all rifled through the same closet and dresser roaring away on the same vintage motorcycle. Quit wearing the typical coffee shop costume and do something different in bellbottoms.